


New Arrivals, Old Wounds

by quantumoddity



Series: Widomauk Modern AU [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parenthood, Trans Male Character, Trans Mollymauk Tealeaf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumoddity/pseuds/quantumoddity
Summary: Day 2- Modern AUPart of my modern AU series which you can find more parts of on my page.-Molly does some reflecting on the gaps in his memory, now he's a parent





	New Arrivals, Old Wounds

Molly was starting to realise that silence had left his life completely. 

He didn’t know how late it was, he’d lost all sense of the hours going by. But outside, the moon was full and fat and beautiful, hanging in the hazy, polluted blackness of the city sky. The shadows of the skyscrapers were bejewelled with yellow windows, full of warm light, each one a little oasis, someone’s life. Every so often a car would go past, though not too loud, just a rumbling tremor across the street outside. One benefit of living so high up, it was hard to hear the street outside. 

Silence was always rare in the city but it wasn’t those common, almost comforting sounds that made Molly realise he would never know an utterly soundless moment in his life again. 

His son was asleep, delicate violet petal eyelids closed, but even then he wasn’t quiet. He snuffled in his sleep, he grunted and squeaked, his tail swished back and forward, disturbing his blankets. Every moment was filled with some new, fascinating sound and Mollymauk couldn’t bear to miss a single one. 

There was a bassinet ready for their little boy, one of Caleb’s many frantic projects for perfection he’d undertaken in the run up to them becoming fathers. It was filled with the softest cushions, the fluffiest blankets and the mobile Percy had made for them hung ready to be squawked at and grabbed for.  But Molly hadn’t really been ready to let his son out of his sight.

So instead, he’d laid him in the middle of his and Caleb’s bed, reclining on his side next to him in case some sudden burst of movement sent him careening over the edge. Though that didn’t seem likely, being born had apparently been an awful lot of hard work and their baby had been snoozing quite contentedly since they’d brought him home. 

Pretty exhausted himself, Molly fretted that he’d begin to nod, leaving his newborn unattended but he soon realised that wasn’t going to be an issue. There was simply too many thoughts running through his head, his body ached too much in too many places. And he couldn’t take his eyes off his baby. He was much too occupied with cataloging every little perfect hair on his head, every little pearly fingernail, the soft curves of his cheeks, the pinkness of his mouth like the inside of a conch shell. 

“I made you…” Molly murmured softly, stroking his son’s cheek with the tip of his finger. He needed to hear it out loud to be able to believe it. 

Trinket. He wasn’t quite sure the name would suit him at first, the little screaming stranger they’d rested in his arms. But he’d grown into it so quickly, it was now as if he’d always had it. Trinket Tealeaf. Mollymauk kept whispering it, just to hear the cadence of it out loud. 

But something was gnawing inside of him. Something was spoiling the awe and simple joy of the slow seconds ticking by. The ends of his mouth turned downwards. 

“Meine Liebling?”

Molly looked up, seeing Caleb in the doorway. He looked about as ragged as Molly felt, which brought him a sense of comfort. They’d done it together. They’d made their Trinket together. 

“Hey,” Molly whispered back, hoping both that the quiet wouldn’t wake their son and it would disguise the tears in his voice. No such luck, Caleb’s face immediately fell. 

“What’s wrong?” he came to lie on the opposite side of Trinket, face etched with worry. Molly felt a guilty twinge, he hadn’t wanted to give him yet another reason to worry today. 

“I...I’m just thinking…” he admitted, propping his head up on his palm, biting his lower lip to try and stop it trembling. 

“About what? Does something hurt?”

“Everything hurts,” Molly gave a humourless laugh, trying to jest but it only made the tears prickle in his eyes more, “I...I just can’t get it out of my head when I look at him…”

He found he had to turn away, moving onto his back, hand to his mouth to try and muffle his words, as if that would make them any easier to bear. 

“There must have been someone who...who carried me. Who had me and held me and loved me just as much as I love him. They felt the exact same way, they felt this...this thing that’s half pain and half joy, this feeling that you’d do anything to protect them. And I can’t even remember their _ face, _ ” the sob broke out of him then but he kept going, “I mean, do they think I’m dead? Are they dead? I couldn’t bear for anyone to take Trinket away from me but there’s maybe someone out there who loved me but then had me taken away…”

Caleb must have gotten up somewhere in the middle of it because then there he was, his arms around Molly, bringing him into his lap. Molly was loathe to cry on him any more than he already had, when he’d been so strong for him all through everything when he probably wanted to break down himself. But his arms were so strong and his lips touched the top of his head in that way that made him feel so safe and it was all Molly could do. 

“There now, its okay…” Caleb whispered, “I know, Molly, I know. Maybe...maybe I could get Pike to let me look at hospital records, I could do research in the library…”

“You don’t have to do that,” Molly shook his head, slumping back and rubbing at his eyes, “I’m just...Marion looked into it before she fostered me, if there was anything to find…its just with everything happening, it's been on my mind lately.”

“Of course,” Caleb nodded sadly, clearly straining to understand as much as he could. 

The little squeak startled them both. They were both still getting used to that third body in the room, the little sink of attention. Trinket didn’t seem upset at all, just blinking at him with his big blue eyes, as if wondering what the noise was. Molly pounced immediately, drawing him into his arms, burying his face in his fluffy down of hair. 

He inhaled deeply, he’d quickly become addicted to that soft baby smell. 

“It’s okay,” he’d been ready to inject false strength into his voice but quickly found he didn’t have to, it was already there, “I need to stop thinking about the past, not when I have a future like this.”

Caleb rubbed his shoulders gently, “You’ve been so brave, Molly. It’s okay to...to want what you’ve lost. But no one’s ever going to take this from you, this is our family. It’s ours.” 

Molly took a deep breath, finding he was out of tears. He nodded and leaned into Caleb, letting him take some of the weight of their son who was burbling happily and reaching for the charms on his daddy’s horns. 

Whoever they’d been, the person who had held him and kissed him and rocked him just like this, Mollymauk knew he had a lot to thank them for. 

  
  



End file.
